My Ceremony of Pregnancy

This is the PRELUDE

This story may challenge deeply held beliefs about birth.

Fear and projection often arise where personal and collective birth trauma live.

I share this as the story I longed to read when choosing to birth wild and free.

A lived experience that shows pregnancy and birth can be beautiful, undisturbed, and profoundly healing.

May more women remember their intuition and their power x

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My ceremony of pregnancy 

This medicine goes far beyond the stories we are told about conception.
Creation itself is magic.

Our sweet Harmony Grace was a cosmic surprise from the universe —
Due on my late father’s birthday, the very day his father, my grandfather, crossed through the veil.

I knew this soul was here to stay.
I knew I would carry her full term.
A gift from my father.
From my ancestors.

Pregnancy, birth, life, death — these exist beyond the reach of science.
Science can describe the mechanics, but it cannot grasp the mystery.
I can’t. You can’t.
It is divine.

And yet — natural, undisturbed pregnancy and birth bring us close.
If we soften.
If we listen.

This is initiation.

Why do so many women struggle during pregnancy?
Because all true initiation is uncomfortable.

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In my early twenties, I was told that having children might not be possible for me.
I carried that belief forward, and for nearly a decade — even within a long-term relationship — I never fell pregnant.

Then, at thirty, I experienced a surprise miscarriage at the same time I found my father dead.
I felt the soul in my womb leave with him.
My son.

And with that, my fear deepened.

Perhaps I was not meant to be a mother in this lifetime.

The “medical world” told me I had PCOS.
But on a deeper, holistic level, I see now that it mirrored my own rejection of my feminine essence —
shame, unworthiness, attracting rejection in relationship, rejecting myself.

I believe womb challenges — pain, endometriosis, infertility — are invitations.
Invitations to turn inward.
To face what lives within us.
To unlock ancestral trauma carried quietly through the body.

So when I fell pregnant again — unexpectedly, miraculously — I knew this would take me on a profound journey.

So let’s begin…

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The cosmic ceremony of you.
Of me.
A medicine so potent it holds three.

I felt my beloved’s sweet nectar flood my cells, my soul.
My womb whispered:
Are you ready?

For just one taste would carry me on a journey lasting ten moons —
inviting both Mother and Father to travel beyond ourselves,
beyond generational lines.

This initiation was not only for the feminine.
It reached just as deeply into the masculine.
Cracking him open to ancestral wounds —
his lineage, his mother wound —
asking him to face them so the soul coming through would not inherit them.

I felt it pulsing through the rivers of my veins,
unlocking an ancient remembering within my womb.

She whispered:
Do you remember how to birth?
Can you trust what the feminine temple was created to do?
Can you surrender to truth beyond all the noise?

But the noise was deafening.
The mainstream tidal wave crashed down —
fear, deep programming, patriarchal conditioning.
The stories.
The collective birth trauma.
Women projecting their wounds onto me at my most vulnerable time.

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I couldn’t believe, I had never heard a positive birth story.

Even in the work I do. I couldn’t recall it

My cells, my soul, yearned to release it all.
I began to purge —
onto the earth,
for she became my midwife.

She whispered:
Rosie, birth outside.
Birth on me.
Listen.
Listen.

This was not morning sickness.
It was the release of everything that did not serve.
A divine clearing.

We did this together
for sixteen deep weeks.

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In the early weeks of pregnancy, my daughter came to me.
She told me her name: Harmony Grace.
She told me why she was coming to earth.
And she told me how she wished to be birthed —
outside, beneath the stars. 

From that moment, I knew this pregnancy was unlike any other.
It was then that I began to reclaim my intuition —
to trust the wisdom of my womb, my body, my ancestors.

And yet, to be transparent, I was still terrified.

Could I really do this?
Could I really hold this power?

Like most women, I had been conditioned not to trust my body.
Fear lingered.
Simmered.
Demanded to be faced.

I purged again — not just physically, but energetically and spiritually.
My daughter whispered from within:
You can. You were born to do this.

Each time I contacted a midwife, Harmony communicated clearly:
Mumma, this is just you and I.

I questioned myself.
I questioned my intuition.

Voices echoed:
It’s your first birth — you can’t do this.
No doula? Are you educated?

Do you have a backup plan?

What about this? 

What about that?

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Why was everyone so afraid?
Why was there so little support for something so completely natural?

I began to feel it everywhere —
the collective birth trauma,
the feminine sister wound,
fear woven quietly through women’s bodies and voices.

Why have we learned to hand our power away so easily? Why had I for my whole life as woman?

I was unprepared for how isolated I would feel simply by choosing to birth in alignment with my intuition.

Concern masked as care.
Fear disguised as responsibility.
Judgment wrapped in worry.

I could feel it in the rooms I entered —
in conversations that tightened,
in what was said
and what was not.

Even as stories circulated — stories of baby loss at birth not caused by “freebirth” itself, yet used to reinforce fear —
I could feel how desperately we cling to narratives that confirm our conditioning.

This was never about recklessness.
It was MY OWN journey about trust.
Discernment.
Responsibility rooted in sovereignty, not fear.

Still, the loneliness surprised me.

And yet beneath it all, I could feel clearly:
this was never mine to carry.

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It wasn’t only my body expanding.
It was our hearts.
Our union.
Our connection to the earth and the divine.

Intimacy deepened —
so sacred,
so delicious.

This is true feminine embodiment.
The ultimate surrender.

Pregnancy is ceremony.
Birth is ceremony.
Life is ceremony.
Death is ceremony.

Crossing all four realms at once —
the most potent psychedelic,
beyond control,
beyond planning.

Due on my father’s birthday.
The same day his father crossed through the veil.

A full circle of life.

Potent.
Magic.
Miracle.

I could write a book on just how special my pregnancy was. 

I could truly be pregnant forever.

The dreams.

The visions. 

The prayer ceremony. 

The way I would commune with Harmony. 

What I would do in a daily basis

But for now I will keep that sacred for her and I…

The birth portal….

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